I am pretty sure this is a picture of Britney Spears getting fingered by a gay dude she only recently met in a hottub while topless. So, uh, sweet.

Up until a few days ago, the only reason I could think of to watch golf was how fantastic it looks on my HD television. But that was until I was aware of Natalie Gulbis. Every sport has it’s share of hotties, but golf has always lagged behind. While I’m shaking my wang to the latest beach volleyball player, the golf channel is still rolling out the same old hairy-legged lesbos. I would definitely pay hard earned money to see Natalie Gulbis naked. I would pay to see her boxing or skiing or rubbing one off too. I wouldn’t pay to go on a date with her though, I’d end up with blue balls. More photos after the jump…

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Dita von Teese likes to tease everybody with that perfect feaking body.  I’d naile it but… Marilyn Manson beat me to it.  I might be able to tolerate sloppy seconds, but not from Manson.  Ugh, gives me the shivers thinking about it.  Don’t mind me while I stroke it to Dita…

You haven’t heard from me all day because I’ve been busy in the bathroom masturbating with a bar of Ivory Soap and a laptop with 16.2gb of photos and vidoes of Jessica Alba. She makes me that horny. If I had a choice between humping a wet and spread Jenna Jameson or shaking my shoookie to Jessica Alba, I’d pick Jess. Here’s why: Read the rest of this entry »

If you were a celebrity photographer, and you got some shots of Maggie Gyllenhaal naked, you would be totally stoked. But if you were camped out in your stank-ass Ford Expedition with the Whopper wrappers crinkling under your feet and your damp, dank, dark, cheesy-smelling pits gorssing you out… and you got some shots of her getting her nipples sucked right off her boobies? You would get out and do a backflip. You would buy yourself a beer, no doubt.

Kia Drayton was the Playboy Plamate of the Month in December of 2006.  But apparently, she has fallen from her high perch.  She was arrested in Charleston SC for trafficking cocaine.  She was busted by a maid who snooped around and found a kilo of coke in her hotel safe.  Kim was sharing the room of her hotel with her personal trainer, Otis Story.  Otis prefers to be called a personal trainer as opposed to a pimp, or a dealer.  Story happened to be driving a gold Cadillac Escalade.  The hoopty Caddy means “pimp”, but the giant brick of coke means “dealer”.  Kia is one hot black lady, I mean Playboy doesn’t photograph dogs.  But there were always a couple of problems… a) her name is Kia, which is a step lower than Suzuki and no more reliable than Chevy, b) you can take the girl out of the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the girl.

If I were a bug flying around in the air, and I spotted some cleavage like Jenna Jameson’s, I would definitely make a beeline for it and just bury my head in there. Jeanna is a pornstar an everything, so it’s not like you can do anything to her that hasn’t been done before. But I would love to take her out to dinner at my favorite restaurant (Arby’s) and stand her up on the table, and just jam my face in her boobies in front of everybody.

All you crazy perverts out there know that Jessica Alba has an ass that just taunts my python.  We have:

Jessica Alba Loves Her Ass

Jessica Alba Nipples

And now we have this mind-boggling view of her wet hiney with a bikini wedgie. The ass faires certainly waved their wands when she was born, I can tell you that right now varmit.

Behold: the Alba Ass.

Leelee Sobieski has some magnifcent boobs doesn’t she? It’s easy to forget or not notice that when she runs around all the time in junky sweatshirts that she buys at WalMart. But stick her in a skin tight dress that is open and shows her cleavage… yowza!

Apparently Kellie Pickler has had a boob job since her prom photo was taken.  Just imagine her in that little party dress with the latest rack revision!  By the way, is it spelled “Kelly” or “Kellie”?

Charlotte Church is fairly attractive.  In other words, I would not kick her out of bed even on a busy night.  The generic press shots are fine, but I get much more interested when the paparrazi bust out the long lenses and take candid photos of her asscrack in a bikini with her boyfriend in full fondle mode…

Anotenella Barba is the 20 year old American Idol contenstant that is most famous not for her singing but for the hot photos of her that have been circulated on the net.  They not only include the nipple action you see here, but also some blowjob pics.  Antonella, you can be my idol anytime.

I don’t know who Renee Olstead is, but I know she has enough cleavage to give ever single man in the North Korean Army a wet dream.  Are there any women in the North Korean Army?  If so, she will give them a wet dream too.

So the story goes, Jennifer Aniston was really naked during the filming of that one scene in the “Breakup” with Vince Vaughn.  The shot was edited for widescreen as per the agreement, and Jen’s boobies were cut out of the shot.  Supposedly, some film editor saw his opportunity to make a buck (or $50k) and swiped some of the footage off the cutting room floor, giving perverts like you and I the chance to see Jennifer Aniston’s nipples in all their uncovered glory.  We’ve been horny and desperate for years after watching her bounce around in Friends with her pokies and perkies.  Finally, we get to see those juicy nipples and natural breasts naked.  The film company has distributed a statement saying anyone in posession of these photos should return them to the studio, and displaying them will result in immediate legal action.  But you know, if there’s one set of nipples worth going to jail for, it’s Jennifer Aniston’s.

We haven’t seen Mena Suvari topless since American Beauty.  She has some serious peperonis doesn’t she…

NEWS FLASH!  Jenna Jameson now has her own page on RegularPervert.com

Here are some recent photos of Jenna Jameson and her loser boyfriend Tito Ortiz.  These photos are taken so recently that I’m surprised we can’t see the big holes in Tito’s noggin put there when the Iceman Chuck Liddell showed him who his daddy was.  Why Jenna messes around with a wimp like Tito when she could have a Greek God of a man such as myself is a complete mystery.

In these photos, she looks like a) she might have been in the sun a bit too much, b) she might be getting a little old.  But it must be a trick of the lighting and just plain old bad pictures by the moron photographer who is apparently a cannabis smoking degenerate.