How long can we go without some dildo action? Renna from FTV is freaking drop-dead gorgeous. She sets me off into a full purple snit. She warms herself up with that big red dildo, then continues masturbating with that lovely blue vibrator until she has two orgasms. They have two videos of her juicing that sextoy up. Do you think she would marry me, even though I am a brainless greek god that thinks of only one thing?

I’ve always had a thing for satin panties. When I was a kid, I got dumped off at this ugly girl’s house so that she could babysit me. She made me do two chores which I detested then and still do to this day: 1) walk the dog, 2) fold laundry. I remember a couple of times I would come across a pair of her panties in the laundry basket and it would give me a huge thrill. She had this one pair of silver satin panties that absolutely mesmerized me. Maybe that’s why I have a satin fetish. Anyway, the porn matrix below is a like a where’s waldo - find the satin panties and you win the price (a hot babe).

I usually crawl around on FTV to watch hot little perverted babes masturbate themselves into a coma. It’s not different with Katie here, who let’s them photograph and videotape her changing into several different sets of clothes, grind her vadge out in public like the exhibitionist her mamma taught her not to be, then sluts it up on a couch in her room having what sounded like five orgasms until she was completely exhausted. But I think the best part is watching her gnaw on Alison Angel’s nipples. They look dee-lish, don’t they!

Big natural boobies hanging in the breeze.  A little droop, meh, who cares.  Those suckers would make for many long pearljam nights.  So what if she will look a little ragged when she’s thirty, that’s what they make plastic surgeons for.

Boobies smell great, especially when surrounded by the fresh air of the great outdoors.  Natali from Met-Art knows she has a big set of naturals, knows that she is still young enough for them to be perky, and knows that if she’s going to show them off, enjoy them, and make a little money off of them now is the time.  Way to go Natali, now would you mind putting one of those pink nipples in my mouth?

I’m not much of a wrestling fan, but who can argue with scantily dressed babes acting pissed off and beating each other up? The WWE divas get my vote for entertainers of the year…

Dawn Marie	Trish Stratus
Maria Kanellis	Mickie James
Jillian Hall	Stephanie McMahon

I know you have all heard that joke about fat girls. They are like mopeds - fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to see you doing it. Gia is not fat, but I don’t see any ribs showing, do you? It’s okay, plump girls need our love too. I especially like her milk white skin. Makes me wonder what she would look like naked on a bed in the local furniture store. The owner of the shop probably wouldn’t appreciate it as much as I would.

I watched Fast and Furious 2 this weekend (yes, my weekend was that worthless) and got a big hardon for Asian chicks. I’m sure everybody has seen my previous tributes to the busty diva Yoko Matsugane:
Post 1
Post 2
I will follow those up (uh, one year later) with a delicious video. I would very much like to see her naked in my bathroom doing her hair. Just thought I would tell you that.

Sometimes it’s hard to be cool, sometimes the babes just don’t care. Liquor usually helps them not give a crap, right? This dude must’ve had the Capt Morgans flowing, cause a) he’s a geek, b) he’s in this girl’s dorm room, c) she’s giving him a kiss, d) she has some nice tata’s.

You may be interested in seeing a young hunny with large D-cup breasts and lickable pink nipples. If so, cross your eyes to Brittany from Brittanysbod. She also has a pretty nice looking coochie, but don’t tell her I said that. I would definitely hump a girl like Brittany in a swimming pool. Pool sex can be distasteful sometimes because it makes warm slippery vaginas turn into cold sticky ones that smell like cholorine. But just the thought of hugging up to Brittany and deep-rodding it is enough to make my Father’s Day shine.

I have been having dreams about big boobies lately.  I think my mamma either breastfed me for too long, or not long enough.  How else can you explain my obsession?  In my (expert) opinion, nipples that are too smooth ruin the whole thing.  So I’m left wondering, sort of in a daze, what kind of nips does Denise have?  They need to be a little gnarly, something to scratch against sort of like a condom with some nubs on it.

A blast from the past… Melina Perez from back in April of ‘06:

http://www.regularpervert.com/blog/2006/04/29/wrestling-babes.html

I actually got laid in a McDonald’s bathroom today.  I took this girl to lunch and she has been teasing me off an on ever since I sent her a dildo as a Christmas gift in the mail.  It was sort of a joke, but she has been harassing me about giving me a haircut and rubbing her boobs in my face for a big tip, so I figured what the hell.  The sextoy must’ve worked some magic, because this girl was playing the slut to a T.  She shimmied out of her panties and hung them around my rearview mirror on the way to the Golden Arches.  They were sexy panties too.  Uh, no skid marks.  We had some dirty bathroom sex in the ladies room, and it made me feel dirty.  There was an immediate sense of shame after I orgasmed, partly because I was disgusted with myself that I would sink to a new low in such a nasty environment, partly because I took no interest at all in her pleasure.  I just humped like a rabbit on crack and shot my load with to concern about getting her off.  She seemed to like it, she left me three voicemails on my cellphone this afternoon.  I will not call her back for awhile.  Next time I want to have <a rel=”tag”>sex in the pool</a> with her just to make up for the bathroom incident.  I will turn her back to the wall and let one of the waterjets shoot up her bunghole.  Speaking of the “dark nexus of a woman’s being”, check out photo number 5 below, may favorite from today’s perverted stash.

Like many guys, I am addicted to crack.  Don’t lock me up or send me to rehab, it’s not the drug I’m talking about - it’s the body part.

I have gone in the backdoor before, and it was okay.  A bit of a letdown, but I’m not a complainer.  It’s not anal action that makes my head turn and my jimmy jump, it’s the buttcrack itself.

Anal is not like oral.  Get hooked up with the right chick, and when she wraps her lips around your dong, the world will cease to exist.  A girl with the right talents can take all of your expectations, all of your fantasies, everything you hoped for from a blowjob and exceed them by a factor of ten.  But anal, meh.  Doesn’t matter what you’re promised, it’s going to involve lots of lube, a nearly total lack of detailed sensation, and no “oooh, do it harder you stud” comments (unless you happen to be paying for it).  Nice to daydream about, but anal sex is almost always a letdown.

That’s why The Tease is so important.  The anticipation of a little dirty-girl anal action will get almost anybody revved up.  I’m obviously a breast man, but I still can’t ignore a chick with a nice ass.  I was at work the other day walking behind an ugly Sweedish chick, and all I could think of was “wow, she has a nice ass.”  Stick me in a bar with a limited selection of females and walk some chick by me with her thong peeking out and some nice curves down below, and I could care less about her buck teeth and the mole on her forehead.  Do I want to get up in her bunghole?  Sure, I guess.  Do I want to play with her ass?  Now you’re talking!  Do I want to squeeze her ass, hump up on it a little, slide my finger down her crack until I reach her stinky nexus and she goes “OH!”?  Yes! 

Allow me to present two hypothetical situations:
1) You are in bed with two babes. One of them is giving you a half-and-half, the other is dancing around stripper-style with her ass in your face, bending over and winking her browneye at you, fingering her butt, ocasionally getting your nose deep into her crack just for good measure.
2) You are (again) in bed with two chicks. You are buried deep in of the butts, and the other girl is giving your nutsack a good tongue lashing.
I can assure you I’d rather have #1 any day of the week.

What’s my point you ask?  Let me get to my point:  I am horny, I am thinking about pretty little panties jammed up curvy female buttcracks and I wanted to write about it.  Also: next time you have the chance, hump your woman’s crack.  Tell her not to worry, you aren’t going to penetrate the poopychute (she will breathe a big sigh of relief).  Just lay her on her stomach, spit a lugie on that delicious divit where the top of her ass splits into the beginnings of her crack, and start thrusting.  When you spray a big patch onto her lower back, and she squeals with delight, you will understand what I’m talking about. 

By the way, if she doesn’t squeal with delight, make sure that next time you you do it you let her watch that Oprah special where she’s interviewing Matthew Mcconaughey.

Goddamit where is an IT guy when you need one…