The cutest honey-bunch awesome Dawson Miller is so great because of the whole package.  The natural 32 D-cup breasts are great of course, and that smooth, smackable ass is just one half size too large, making it qualify as a bubble-butt for sure.  I hate to sound like a wimp, but seriously it is her smile that sets her apart.  If I were to deep-rod her, I would say “goochie-goochie-goo” and tickle her to get her to smile while I did my deed.

The door banged open and a tall, curvy female barged in. I happened to be laying on my bed masturbating with my didlo. At the sight of this gorgeous female, I whipped my dildo out of my crotch and attempted to cover my body.

She walked in and closed the door behind her. She explained that her name was Beatrice and she was our new roommate. With no embarassment she told me that she could hear my moans from the next room and was getting really turned on. I then noticed her sheer top. She turned towards me and put one leg up on the bed. I could see up her short skirt to her pretty pink kitty, perfectly trimmed.

Beatrice pulled the pillow from my arms and sighed at my natural D-cup breasts. She pulled her top off over her head, and licking a finger, she started to rub her dark nipples making them stand at attention. Beatrice spread her legs further apart and started rubbing her clit. My privates tingled as I watched this girl I didnt know masturbate right in front of me. I began to pant and my heat increased.

Beatrice stood up and peeled her skirt off of her body. She grabbed my ankles and pulled me across the bed, then crawled up between my legs, running her hands up my thighs before exploring my shaven pussy with her fingertips. Her face lowered into my pudenda, and I could feel her lips and tongue start massaging my lovebutton.
I grabed my breasts and pulled at my nipples, excitment washing over me.

I pushed Beatrice over onto her back and straddled her face. She pulled me down even harder, and I reached around to cup her breasts. I spit on my fingers and started to massage her sweet pussy. I leaned over her body and moved my fingers into her lovecanal. Beatrice was moist and warm and I pumped my fingers harder and faster into her. All of a sudden Beatrice flipped me back over! She reached down beside the bed and pulled out the double ended didlo I had been using. She looked at me and smiled. I spread my legs as if on command and pulled my pink wet pussy lips apart.

Beatrice slowly put one end into me, but then started turning it as she pumped it. She lay with her legs entwined with mine and slipped the other end of the dildo into her. She moved and ground her body, pushing the whole thing into us. I arched my back in pleasure and moaned loudly. I could feel myself begin to orgasm and I pulled on the blankets as I came, my whole body spasming.

Beatrice pulled the dildo out and stood above me, vilently rubbing her clit until she was coming. Her juices slowly dripped out of her and onto my boobs. As we lay there exhausted, Beatrice bent over and kissed me, her tongue wet in my mouth. She stood up and went to walk out the door. I propped myself up to watch her go. Then she turned around.
“Coming?” she asked.
I looked at her confused.
Beatrice simply smiled and said “Round two in the shower.”

Apparently I’m stuck back in the days of breastfeeding, because I can’t seem to get past boobs lately.  Perla from Errotica-Archives has enough boob action to make me want to suck down a gallon of milk.  Either that or create a pearl necklace with an extra dose of olive oil for lube.

If Denise Milani decided to jam those big-nippled boobs into my face and shake them while staring at me with her dark eyes and exotic smile, I am positive that I would be completely incapable of speech.  You know how when you were a young lad trying to delay the inevitible orgasmic explosion you would try to think about baseball or mailboxes or waterlogged kittens?  In this case, I would probably think about lesbians sword-fighting with dildos, or dirty girls irrigating buttcracks with garden hoses, or any damn thing besides the cleavage engulving my head.

All I’m trying to say is… people are F’d up.

I am married to a woman I truly love, but our sex life has become a mes. We watched an cable TV show about women strapping on dildos and nailing their husbands. That inspired my wife to buy a strap-on dildo. Once would have been bearable, but for the last year she only wants me to orgasm by jerking while she does me with the strap-on. She literally rubs off while using the strap-on. She refuses to go to counseling and says I am being prude. Do you think she is warped?
-Sore Rectum in Chicago

I’m going to assume you are being serious, dude, and not jerking me around being a straight guy with fem-dom fantasy. Your wife has far-out sex control issues, and you being a serious wuss. Unless you’re handcuffed to the bed, your wife can’t be an ass pirate if you don’t let her. I get the impression you’ve been saying, “If you would please stop fucking my ass I would appreciate it.” When what you need to say is, “Your are nuts you ho.” The next time she jumps into the bedroom wearing her strap-on, get out of bed and walk out the door.

I found this article on the internet:

DOCTORS are calling for G-strings to be banned — because they are bad for girls’ health.
Doctors in Europe warn that the skimpy panties can damage skin and cause infections.

Gynecologists prefer women to wear traditional bigger panties after seeing an “enormous” rise in patients reporting genital inflammation.

Dr Thomas Gent said: “G-strings can abrade and injure the sensitive skin around the genitals — especially if they are too tight or made with poorly stitched material.”

He said friction caused by the “string” part of the underwear is the root cause of the problem.

Dr Gent, of the Association of Gynecologists in Hamburg, added that the damage caused “can aid the spread of bacteria and cause fungal infections”.

Recent German studies found that 50% of women under 50 years old wear G-strings, and most men find them sexy.

But Mathias Geduhn, a spokesman for fashion chain H&M, revealed that “granny panties” are making a comeback.

He said: “The trend is turning to comfortable hot-pants and slips.”

Yes, my friends, that is the look or orgasmic ecstasy on Michaela’s face.  There is no reason for her not to be ecstatic since she is in some dude’s mansion, getting rugburn on her knees from some $100 per sq foot carpet, with her hair all sweaty and in a mess, and her vajayjay quacking like duck while a very large suction cup dong works it’s lubricated magic on her.  If I were there watching, I’d be happy too.  Hell, I’m pretty happy and I’m here watching!  Also, I just said vajayjay, please remind me to never do that again. If FTV catches me calling it that, they will ban me from their website.

Upsidedown ass is a great thing.  Very versatile.  You can spank it.  You can sniff it.  You can eat it, if you are so inclined.  Sneak a finger in, probe it with a bead.  Really though, an upside down ass begs the question… why is it upside down?  Is she presenting it so you can get freaky?  Is she bored and wants your attention?  Does she want your wang in there?

Read the rest of this entry »

It all started when they went to a “passion party,” which is where a bunch of ladies get together at a friend’s house to look at, talk about, and purchase sextoys.  Generally, the lady that hosts the party is a distributor, and makes a commission off of sales to her friends.The first time they got together, there were many rosy cheeks and a good bit of embarrassment.  Nine of the 12 girls went home with something.  The purchases ranged from a $12 doodle pad shaped like a penis, to a $120 “double penetrator.”

Part 1 of this story brought to you by Toyslove - real girls having real orgasms in gigabyte after gigabyte of movies…

Let me get back to a very important subject:

Can Michaela the FTV gal take on that huge dildo?

Obviously, if we are following the dildo chronicles on this website, there is a point to it.  Othewise it would be pure madness.  I’m crazy, but not that crazy.  Well, ok, I am that crazy, but I know my dongs. It’s a tight squeeze, but Michaela looks like she’ll be able to work the whole thing in!

The story says her brother restrained the naked would-be rapist until police arrived. Wouldn’t you like to be a fly on the wall during those tense few minutes! Was there shouting and screaming? Thwacking on the head? Inconspicuous evaluation of genital size? Also, you gotta wonder… was the sister sleeping half-naked in a g-string or what? Inquiring minds want to know.

From the Salt Lake Tribune:

Intruder allegedly tries to rape girl; brother rescues her
Shotgun, ax and women’s clothing are found in suspect’s car
The Salt Lake Tribune
Article Last Updated: 05/11/2007 01:21:02 AM MDT

A naked Provo man allegedly tried to rape a 17-year-old girl in her home early Wednesday but was tackled by the girl’s older brother, police said.
  Just after midnight, a man entered the girl’s home through an unlocked back door, left his shoes by the door and crept up two flights of stairs to the sleeping girl’s bedroom, according to a police affidavit. The man took off his clothes and got onto her bed, the affidavit states. When the man touched her face, she awoke, started screaming and kicked him.
  The girl’s 22-year-old brother came into the room and wrestled the naked man off his sister. He restrained the would-be rapist until police arrived.
  Police arrested Forrest Barth, 21, who allegedly told them he intended to take the girl’s virginity. Police searched his car and found a shotgun and ammunition, an ax, boxes of rubber gloves, electrical tape, a woman’s teddy, a marijuana pipe and a gas mask. Barth had allegedly been stalking the girl and was arrested Monday, but was released after posting $4,255 bail, police said.
  Following the alleged rape attempt on Wednesday, Barth was booked into the Utah County jail without bail.

Apparently Wifey and her husband have been outed.  A news article in an Arizona newspaper reveals that Sandra and Kevin Otterson who run Wifeysworld are having some trouble trying to relocate their porn empire…

An Oregon couple who run a pornographic Web site called Wifey’s World have riled some Scottsdale residents over plans to move their operation to north Scottsdale. Residents who live in the high-priced ZIP code received a mailing this week warning of the impending move of Kevin and Sandra Otterson, a married couple known to their Internet fans as Hubby and Wifey.

Much like a gorgeous, blonde-haired Pocahontas, Wifey from Wifeysworld likes to strut her stuff au naturale.  Holy mackeral, look at those natural breasts with big nipples the size of a saucer - they stick out farther than my thumb.  That is one mature wife that makes me shiver with horniness.  The wood paneling in her home serves to enhance the look of her smooth bronze skin and bright white teeth.  Seeing her bend over that brown leather couch is enough to make me immediately dive for my johnson and start shaking it like a paint marker.

Don’t miss the Wifey’s World Tribute page

The thing about having big boobs is that you are always bumping into things with your melons. You tend to drop food on the mammary parcel shelf while eating at the table. It’s impossible to give your uncle a hug without giving him the distinct impression that your bra is full of gigantic water balloons. You get to the point where you just treat your girls indiscriminately and with a rough hand. This is like what Piper does in this bikini photo set. I like how she squashes them, and watching her do it shows me just how soft and squeezable those bazongas are.

I actually went to a social function this weekend, which is dangerous since I am an anti-social pervert.  I got stuck on a packed elevator with this little Asian hottie in a short skirt standing directly in front of me.  I think she might have been a bartender headed out to work at a company picnic of some sort.  She kept bumping back into me with her butt, which of course gave me a woody and made me think dirty thoughts about what she might have under that skirt and what I would do to her right there on the crowded elevator if given the chance.  As Aerosmith sings…. love in an elevator…

After doing this for so many years, I have quite a collection going.  For those of you who just can’t get enough, I created the Pervert Page to try and list all of the galleries.  There are about 100 on there now, and I would estimate that’s maybe half of them.  So check back periodically to see if I’ve made any progress on the tabulation.