So I was at the gym today, and in hobbles this semi-attractive lady and hops on the recumbant bike in front of me. When I say semi-attractive, I mean ugly. She had a very nice body, and she was wearing a tank top with a regular bra on (no sports bra). I could tell she was not wearing a sports bra because there was quite a bit of shake, shimmy, and dance under her top. When she plops down, it was very clear that she was wearing a little tiny white g-string because about 4″ of it was hanging out of her shorts. It was so obvious that as she sat down, the girl sitting on the bike next to her swivelled her head and rolled her eyes as if to say, “Great, another slut in a g-string.” One of these days I will have an operation to turn me into a wannabe SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN and I’ll have a camera implanted in my eyeball so I can provide photos to you guys of life-changing events like these.