After reading this news story, I am slightly less optimistic for the future of the human race.

This dude named Marcelino Castro is a forty-two year old janitor who is married (presumably to a female), but has what can only be decribed as an unbearably intense fetish for large dildos.  When he ordered one from a sextoy shop, the fun began…

When it arrived, he ripped it open and rammed it in and oops! broke the darn thing off in his bunghole.  He told his boss that two guys broke in, tied him up, and gave him a wacky anal raping with a dildo. 

The monster dildo was surgically removed.  As in anesthesia, scalpel, stiches.  Everyone was so worried about these ass-rapists who were on the loose that the police set up a dragnet and the owners of the office building immediately replaced every lock.

Uh, and then they figured out he was just a closet gay guy who liked his dildos large and his butt business rough.  He was arrested, and he is going to jail.

I hate to see what they’re going to do to him once his story gets around the jailhouse.

It is a sad day when my man with the wife and the full time job, who is just trying to make ends meet, not bothering anybody, gets busted trying to get some ass-play.  It’s an even sadder day when this same guy mail-order’s a dildo so monsterous that it has a handle, and uses it so violently that he breaks it off.

Bert the Pervert’s advice tip of the day:  If you break something off in your rectum, don’t tell your boss about it.  OR the cops.  Take it a step further for us straighter guys - if you get your junk stuck in something that it’s not supposed to be in, just call in sick or something.